Managing Conflicts In The Workplace

When two or more people spend time together, they’re bound to come into conflict. Because conflict-related problems can spread quickly in the workplace and damage entire teams, departments, and even organizations, savvy managers know how important it is to nip those problems in the bud whenever possible. However, to do so requires managers to skip a “one size fits all” approach and instead tailor their response based to each specific situation.

FIVE STYLES OF CONFLICT MANAGEMENT

Before you can come up with a plan, you first must figure out which conflict management approach works best for your particular problem and participants:

Withdrawal/avoidance

Pros: This low-stress approach gives you more preparation time and works best for minor fires that don’t need to be put out immediately.

Cons: A delay might weaken or even totally undermine your position. Also, if at least one of the involved parties expects you to take action, your failure to do so might damage your relationship with that party.

Smoothing/accommodation

Pros: Accommodating someone else’s preferences on one issue can help you protect your interests in a different area that you consider more important.

Cons: If you get a reputation for being too accommodating, people may try to take advantage of you, and it may be difficult for you to reach win–win solutions. Additionally, this approach can alienate your supporters.

Imposition/force/competition

Pros: Conflicts are often resolved quickly. Acting forcefully and decisively to pursue one concern in the face of resistance from other parties can help you win your colleagues’ respect and boost your self-esteem, especially if you successfully eliminate (or at least mitigate) an extremely negative situation.

Cons: This strong-arm technique (which often promotes one viewpoint at the expense of others) can damage your workplace relationships, especially those with other parties involved in these conflicts. Also, using this style may give your opponents the latitude to use it themselves.

Collaboration

Pros: The result is a win–win resolution that makes everyone happy! By strengthening mutual respect and trust, this approach can make future collaboration more likely.

Cons: Because this style requires more work and time than other approaches, it may not be the optimal choice when tight deadlines are looming; also, collaboration can be a stressful process until it’s concluded. If all parties don’t commit to this approach and don’t trust each other, then it cannot successfully resolve the issue.

Compromise

Pros: When time is of the essence, all parties look for an expedient and mutually acceptable solution that partially satisfies everyone. This approach leaves open the possibility of future collaboration to build this solution out to a complete win–win for all parties. This style can also provide immediate mitigation of the stress and tension that accompany conflicts.

Cons: This style doesn’t build long-term trust, and oversight and check-ins are needed to ensure that all parties fulfill their agreements and get what they expect. Also, because each party doesn’t get everything it wants, the solution may end up being a lose–lose arrangement.

NOW WHAT?

Once you’ve determined what conflict-management style would work best for a particular issue, then you can devise a plan for resolving it. Many times, people can apply the “work it out among yourselves” strategies that we all learned as kids when parents or teachers got tired of intervening in petty squabbles. Sometimes, though, employees aren’t able to work things out on their own (especially when personality differences are a factor). In those cases, you may have to intervene. Whether you’re coaching two opposing parties or you’re embroiled in the conflict yourself, this eight-step process lays out a framework for how to resolve even the toughest disagreements.

STEP 1: PLAN A CONVERSATION WITH THE OTHER PERSON

• Keep an open mind and don’t go into this process assuming the worst: it’s very possible that the other person is unaware that his or her behavior is bothering anyone.
• Schedule a meeting time and place that will be free of interruptions.

STEP 2: FOCUS ON SPECIFIC FACTS, NOT ON VAGUE POINTS OR ON PERSONALITIES

• During your meeting, describe specific instances when you felt slighted by the other person.
• Refrain from “when you do X,” opting instead for “when X happens, I feel.” (Remember, it’s hard to argue with how you feel.)

STEP 3: LISTEN CAREFULLY

• Pay close attention—without interrupting—to what the other person is saying (instead of preparing your reaction to it).
• After the other person finishes speaking, restate what he or she said to make sure you understand it.
• Ask questions to ensure issue clarity.

STEP 4: IDENTIFY POINTS OF AGREEMENT AND DISAGREEMENT

• Talk about points of conflict and seek agreement on your assessment.
• Seek consensus on where the areas of conflict are.

STEP 5: PRIORITIZE THE AREAS OF CONFLICT

• Discuss which issue each of you thinks is most important to resolve and why (e.g., impact on staff duties).
• Identify the areas of greatest concern to the company and its mission.

STEP 6: PLAN TO ADDRESS EACH AREA OF CONFLICT

• Start with the most important issue.
• Focus on resolving the conflict to help the company and your careers.
• Discuss mutually acceptable options.
• Pursue a “win-win solution.”
• Arrange for follow-up discussions.

STEP 7: PLAN FOLLOW THROUGH

• Work through each area of conflict.
• Aim for a collaborative solution.

STEP 8: BUILD ON YOUR SUCCESS

• Look for chances to cite progress.
• Compliment the other person’s insights and achievements.
• Congratulate each other when you make progress, even small steps.

You can do this.

Yes, conflict in the workplace is a big deal. But when the parties involved have the right tools (and attitudes), they can almost always resolve them satisfactorily. So stop avoiding your workplace conflicts: get in there and fix them!

Valerie Grubb is a speaker, author, HR consultant and coach who’s spoken at numerous events, including a keynote address she gave at TRSA’s 2017 Workforce Management Summit.